What about George Abbott
I came across him in one of Alistair Cooke's essays. He was an extraordinary man. Anyone who lives to be 107 comes within my category of being extraordinary.
If I mention musicals. such as Broadway or Pajama Game you may recognise him. As the Broadway producer-director he was a towering genius. His schooling began in a one-room schoolhouse at the frontier town of Cheyenne, Wyoming. From the little red school house he went to a Military Academy in Nebraska. All he got out of the military school he said was a cure for his stoop - he was six feet two! When he was seventeen he went to college at Rochester. After that he had but one aim - to get to Harvard, the only university in the East that had started a course in playwriting. He joined the university dramatic club and spent every penny he earned attending the local theatre. For many years he had a difficult time doing any kind of job associated with the theatre he could. His break came when he directed his first great hit, called Broadway. For sixty three years from 1926 to 1989 he was involved in over a hundred and twenty productions.
But all that is by way of back ground. What brought George Abbott to my attention was his age. He lost his first wife in 1951 and for the next thirty two years he lived alone. However, when he was 96 he decided to marry again, a lady in her fifties. Soon after he was told by his doctor he needed a pacemaker, adding that it would need a new battery in ten years time. When he was 105, he had the battery fitted. A week before he died aged 107 he was rewriting a revision of Pajama Game. He died in his sleep.
I am not sure what all that proves. He took three meals a day at regular intervals. He never smoked. He sipped a little wine. He went to bed early to sleep, and to get up and start again. I have never understood that such was a recipe for longevity, but I guess it can help. What it certainly does as far as I am concerned is that if one hopes to live to be over a hundred it pays to be occupied
How does one measure the years one lives?
On the page on Preaching I commented on the life and influence of Oswald Chambers who died in Egypt in 1927. He was 43. His Bible expositions would never have found their way into the Christian world had not his wife, a stenographer, took down what he said, and some years later transcribed her shorthand notes, and was encouraged to have them published. Had the book "M My Utmost for His Highest been the only one to have been published. it would have secured his name as an outstanding Bible teacher. One contemplates what He might have done had he reached the seventy score years and ten. Which goes to indicate that it is not the number of years we live that matters,. but the legacy we leave.
This fact was reinforced in my mind as I read the story of William Knibb. He is not as well known as he ought to be, particularly when we think of the emancipation of the slaves. I was born and brought up in Hull, and had my earliest exposure to Christian truth in an old Elizabethan house almost opposite Wilberforce House in the old High Street in Hull, which is now a museum capturing the life, times and achievements of William Wilberforce. His name tends to obscure what William Knibb did in the same humanitarian cause.
William Knibb was born in Kettering in 1803, but when the family moved to Bristol, he attended the Broadmead Baptist Church, and after conversion felt the call of God to missionary work. His elder brother, a missionary school teacher had died at the age of 23, and William Knibb went to Jamaica to replace him, and became the first schoolmaster at the Baptist Mission school at Kingston, with 200 children both white and slaves. Not content with teaching six days a week, he started a Sunday School for adults and children.
It did not take him long to realise the plight of the slaves who worked on the plantations, Soon after his arrival he wrote home. "I know not how any person can feel a union with such a monster, such a child of hell. I feel a burning hatred against it and look upon it as one of the most odious monsters that ever disgraced the earth. The iron hand of oppression daily endeavours to keep the slaves in the ignorance to which it has reduced them. His outspokenness aroused the opposition of the plantation owners. They attempted to have the work of the missionaries stopped. They were slandered, accused of encouraging prostitution to raise funds. The Jamaican planters were outraged when a motion was brought before the British House of Commons for the gradual abolition of slavery in the British colonies. Even worse was the activities of an Anglican clergyman named Bridges who formed an association called the Colonial Church Union the aims of which was to oppose anti-slavery sentiments and appealing for the expulsion of all the Nonconformist missionaries, and outlawing any religious teaching other than that of the established English and Scottish churches.
Knibb was arrested and imprisoned and his life threatened. In spite of every opposition he continued to work for reform and the emancipation of the slaves. His life was tragically cut short by typhoid fever. On November 5th 1837, he baptised 42 villagers, and in the evening of the same day he preached his last sermon from Paul's words to Timothy, "To this end also we pray for you always that our God may count you worthy of your calling". Within a matter of days he was dead. He was 43.
A monument to him stands outside the church at Falmouth Jamaica, the inscription on which reads:
This monument was erected by the emancipated slaves to whose enfranchisement and elevation his indefatigable exertions so largely contributed; and by his fellow labourers who admired and loved him, and deeply deplore his early removal; and by his friends of various creeds and parties, as an expression of their esteem for one whose praise as a man, a philanthropist, and a Christian minister, is in all the churches, and who, being dead, yet speaketh.
The fact that Oswald Chambers and William Knibb died at the age of 43 made me think. My age exceeds their combined ages by seven years. I ask: What I have achieved in the many more years years I have been granted? But are we remembered for our deeds? In her book 'journeyings' Janet McCalman says of Menzies, "it was not what he did that lives in the memory, but what he was'. It's worth thinking about.
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The Matter of Relationships
I came across the following in a book which consisted of a series of essays by medical persons: Medicine and the Modern Mind; Old age is a time of failing relationship in which so many on whom the person has come to depend are, for one reason or another, withdrawn, or are no longer available. Since the article was written by a doctor - the consultant geriatrician at the Western Infirmary, Glasgow, I accepted that he knew what he was talking about from personal experiences with elderly people. It caused me to reflect on the same subject on which I had thought much over the past six months or so.
I come in daily contact with many elderly people. I wonder about their relationships. Many never appear to have visitors. For the most part they are widows. I presume that they have families, but cannot be certain. Of course they may be separated from any family by many miles and that makes visitation difficult. But is that always the case? I confess that I do not know. However, I have spent long enough in a retirement village to arrive at certain conclusions. I reflect on what earlier relationship in my own life were dependent on. There was, of course, the family relationships which for the most part depended on the tie of kinship. It does not always follow that such relationships are always harmonious - family relationships can easily be fractured. That can be one reason.
Looking back over the years I see that many relationships were built on shared interests. Some pursuit brought us together. As long as the common interest was there, the relationship continued. If genuine personal friendship was part of the relationship, that could be a warm close relationship.
Others were built on the pleasure of providing hospitality, if only a meal together. Such relationships usually continue as long as there is a reciprocity about the arrangement. We like to invite, but enjoy being invited. The old person cannot do any such inviting, or the relationship would be so one-sided as to make it altogether dependent on the provider, and that may be too much to ask - unless there was a deeper reason, such as close affection.
There are other relationships which I have come to recognise, one being - the relationship which is built on a sense of duty. Perhaps speaking of such as a relationship is going too far - is it a relationship in the usual meaning of the word? Yet it may still be a relationship of kin. Such relationships have to be maintained - if only out of a sense of duty. Think how embarrassing it would be to be asked "And how is your Aunt Phyllis?" or "Is your brother any better these days?" and have to be evasive in the answer, and endeavour to avoid more similar questions. To call in from time to time on such relations saves that kind of situation. But is the relationship one sustained out of a sense of duty? Is it an inconvenience to be avoided when and where possible?
To come back to the statement by the medical person on relationship. He goes on... In this situation it is a great deal more than a platitude to suggest that the relationship forged between the doctor and the elderly person may at least be as effective as any medication prescribed by him.
I think he has a point - one frequently forgotten. What kind of therapeutic value is there when the health professional comes hurriedly in, takes the blood pressure, mumbles something about 'increasing the dose' proffers the form to be signed and says, "See you again" or words to that effect? An extreme case, but not an unusual one. A few minutes of conversation about anything but blood pressure might have been more beneficial than any drug. The article by the doctor I have quoted ends, It is with people, rather than with 'busy doctors', that people have to deal. It is alas, only the minority of health professionals who have discovered the benefits of this kind of treatment. With a fast ageing population some had better learn the art.
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Formed in the womb
I never thought the day would come when I would see my next great grandchild in the womb. However, thanks to the combined wizardry of ultrasound and the internet, it has been made ppossible. My grandaughter Emily and her husband are in Kyrgyzstan. Emily is expecting their first child in September Apparently it is the custom where she is is to resort to Ultrasound, particularly if the sex of the child can be discovered. Emily paid the $3 fee and had the ultrasound. The pictures came to me via the Internet in next to no time. It seemed appropriate for me to comment on these facts on the page 'On Growing Old'. For we begin the process of growing old in the womb. The Lord said to Jeremiah, "before you were in the womb I formed you".
Jeremiah notice says the Lord is speaking of the living while yet in the womb. Being a man in a world where the strident voices claim women's rights, I suppose I am not entitled to express an opinion. I have always viewed abortion as a crime against humanity. After seeing my next greatgrandchild - not as yet physically fully formed - I view the abortions of tens of thousands of living beings in Australia each year as calculated murder,`
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Dignity Nurses
The decision to appoint Dignity Nurses in health service hospitals was labelled a cheap gimmick...every nurse said Ruth Lea the director of the Centre for Policy Studies, a UK centre Right think tank. Every Nurse should be aware of the concept of dignity. Dignity for patients should be hard-wired into nurses. otherwise they should not be in a hospital or care home." Maybe, but the problem still needs to be faced. Evidence has revealed that shouting at patients, failure to ensure that they are properly fed and clothed, will be treated seriously by health watchdogs. There has been recent publicity at the mental abuse and physical cruelty of elderly residents in a Victorian Nursing Home, and the facts are before the Public Prosecutor. Evidence has emerged of elderly inmates who suffered malnutrition when meals are taken away before they could eat them. I can identify with that. One may be advised to 'take your time' but the knowledge that the dishwasher needs to be filled, prompts the desire to finish in order to keep the machinery well oiled.
Returning to the warning about surrendering one's dignity. It can easily happen, particularly if the resident is apt to desire peace at any price. The THEM and US situation can easily develop, the US expecting that the THEM will be subservient to what the US desire. To challenge it, is to create a barrier between the THEM and US, The US are sometimes unlikely to accept any suggestion that might reflect on their good management. That leaves the resident in a vulnerable position. In the overwhelming number of cases this will not arise, but it can do with the resident bound to come off second best.
In the light of the above considerations maybe Dignity Nurses do have a role to play. Real dignity for older people will come only with real change, not headline-seeking initiatives.
What next - Dignity Doctors? I have nothing but praise for the ones I have been fortunate to know.
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On Growing Older
I am reminded of my schooldays. Those were the days when English literature always included one of Shakespear's plays - one every year. I gather from the articles I read on education such disciplines are no longer emphasised, indeed frowned upon by progressive teachers. We were required to learn the well known speeches from the plays we studied - 'The quality of mercy...' and 'Friends Romans, countrymen lend me your ears...' I can still make a good fist of 'All the worlds a stage..." from As you like it. I realise that I am in the seventh stage the bard lists - the one that 'ends this strange eventful history'. However, I may be sans teeth and my hearing leaves much to be desired, and I am relying more and more on the walking frame, but not yet 'second childishness. I will be 93 in a few weeks' time. I have many reasons to be grateful. Living in a retirement home we are grateful for the way our creature comforts are taken care of, and doubly grateful that, although in separate rooms, we have each other. For these benefits we have to give up much that was important to us. There is no point in making a list.
We speak of Growing old gracefully. It is not that easy. A friend a few days ago mentioned to me the case of his 84 year old mother. Since he lives in Melbourne it was necessary to bring his mother who was in need of care, to be near him. He says, 'Although she knew it was the best thing to do as my wife and I are realistically the only ones able to care for her in her old age, she found it a real strain to move away from friends and a familiar environment. In fact, though she does not like to tell me this, she has been having treatment for depression'. That case does not surprise me. It is easy to give way to depression. I find myself countering the moods that might easily degenerate into depression. It is a common condition among Australians. If those in what appear to be normal circumstances succumb to depression, how much more likely to one confined to the narrow world of a retirement home. Long hours alone have to be filled. Books have an important part. Television a much lesser one. Computer chess I am trying to obtain. Surfing the net to the world's more reputable newspapers, and commenting on events and issues on this website engages my mind. In these circumstances a trip to the local shops at least takes me outside the retirement home. The fact that I cannot take Mona with me, tends to make the visit one of necessity rather than choice. They are all means whereby the demon of depression can be kept at bay.
I am saying these things because we get old far more quickly than we imagine. It is wise to be alert to the problems. Some reading this may have to come to terms with it. Do not leave it too late. Do make preparation for it. Do not assume that your present situation goes on indefinitely. Ask yourself how you will manage when much that is familiar to you has to be forsaken. I mention these things as one who was guilty of the things I am listing. It is a subject I will be returning to.
How time flies
It is some months since I last visited this page. Perhaps the truth that another year has passed, and my wife celebrated her 91st birthday a few weeks ago focuses our mind on aging. We shall soon have been almost a year in residential care. One has to face the fact that such care has to be undertaken. It has advantages, but there is another side to it.
I was painfully aware of this when a friend in England sent me his autobiography. Sir Eric Richardson and I were Sunday School teachers in the 1930's. He was knighted in 1967 for his work in education. He has recently celebrated his 100th birthday. In his letter to me he says that the past year has seen developments that sadden him. His wife needs care, and was recently removed to a nursing home -arrangements made by his children. He says, "May and I were unaware that these negotiations had taken place until it was all settled. Learning of this I thought it might easily take up to a year or more before a vacancy to become available, but I was wrong. Almost immediately we were separated after being together for nearly sixty-three years. May cannot understand why she has to be there and regularly asks "When I am going home". I visit her four times a week. I sympathise with him, and I am grateful for the fact that Mona and I are in the same Retirement facility - although in different rooms.
I mention this, since as far as I am concerned the fact that such a move was inevitable was undertaken without any serious thought to it, until it was accepted as a fact. There was no long and deliberate preparation. We get old not realising it. Our families and friends are aware of it. Strangely it eludes us. Things, we argue to ourselves will ever be the same. My advice to any one approaching such a scenario is to plan for it very early.
Once the move has been taken, and to a point we surrender our independence, then the changes come home very quickly. Once settled, we sense a sigh of relief on the part of those who might have had to carry a responsibility. Friends come to visit and see the new surroundings. It would appear that having been acquainted with our situation, they come less frequently. I sometimes notice a furtive glance at the watch of such a visitor. The dutiful call has been made, and now there are other things. Not all, by any means, fall into this category, but a surprising number do. Sensing the need to leave on the part of such a visitor, I make the remark "You must be busy, don't let us detain you". And off they go.
We are privileged in that we are still together after 65 years of marriage. But once Mona goes at 8.30 in an evening there is the knowledge that for the nest 12-14 hours one will be alone. Reading and television do not adequately fill the hours. No one to talk to; make a cup of tea for, pass the usual comments that man and wife would make. Yet that is the fact to be faced. Old age can be very lonely.
But there is another side to this that must be acknowledged. Reading and television are not the only things. I have this web site, which gives me hours of meaningful activity. If I used it to cheat Mona out of my time it would a selfish use. But when I am alone no twinge of conscience disturbs me. How glad I am that in my early nineties I endeavoured to master- in a limited sense - the new technology. The world and its so many interests has opened up for me. I have the world at my disposal. I can search for answers to an endless range of questions. When my health professional (we no longer call them doctors} - said to me "We will have a P.S.A. I wondered what that could be. Pleasant Sunday afternoon? Not in a medical context. It required a brief visit to the internet, and I was familiar with Prostate Specific Antigen. The professionals need no longer - perhaps inadvertently - use their medical jargon will confuse their patients.
Above and beyond this is another compensation. Entering life within the confines of one room, so many things had to be left behind. Reluctantly I surrendered my library. But there is one book which is a library in itself. Without the comments of others I am finding out how rich are the treasurers of scripture, and in the Authorised Version! For many years that was my Bible, I have returned to it with great profit.
Sure, residential care may seem stifling - but only as we make it so.
There is another positive. The Christian need never feel alone. There is One who said will never leave you, nor forsake you; I am with you to the end of the age".
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A Personal Point of View
On the matter of Growing old
Ms Guedeney of Dandenong gets paid $14.25an hour for making sure elderly people are comfortable and content. She loves to do it, but economics have driven her to plumping cushions and sprucing up four bed roomed houses in leafy Melbourne suburbs. For this she can earn $22 an hour. A migrant from Chile she is puzzled by the conundrum of a society where compassion and nurturing are undervalued beside the more remunerative rewards of dusting household furniture. That was the dilemma facing her as a personal care attendant in a Victorian nursing home.
The low wages paid to nurses and personal care attendants in aged care are causing nationwide shortages as labour is drawn to the acute health sector and service industry jobs which pay more for less demanding work. Mr Jeff Kennet raised the matter when speaking at the opening if the Australian Nursing Homes and Extended Care Association annual conference in Adelaide. Nurses operating in aged care facilities are not paid at the same rate as nurses who work in hospitals - why is that when you are still dealing with human beings? The passage of time should not in any way diminish a person's standing while they are citizens of Australia. But it often happens to be the case.
Both sides of politics, " says an editorial in The Australian "worked hard to woo older Australians", But the details as to what was to be done by the millions of dollars thrown at them was not fully explained. "The Howard government looks as if it is on top of the problem, committing $2.2 billion to expand the aged care sector in the budget. With increased accommodation of $16,25 a day, levied against people who can pay, plus more public and private funding, Canberra claims to have met the industry's capital needs. But this is more an exercise in politics than policy". Over a year ago Professor Hogan's report suggested allowing high-care nursing homes to charge people an accommodation bond, most of which would be paid to them or their estate when they departed. People without assets would not be affected, but those who are asset rich but cash poor, could borrow against their homes to pay a bond. It appears that the government would prefer to use public money to expand and enhance the nursing home sector rather than annoy affluent older Australians and their children who are intent on inheriting the family home. Aged care it appears is a kind of hot potato which no one is prepared to tackle seriously. The future looks bleak. At present there are 150,000 people living in aged care facilities, and this is expected to triple by the middle of the century. With existing facilities close to capacity, the need is for more nursing home bed and support services to give people a choice. Having looked carefully at this problem over the past few months, it appears that the choices are very narrow. Perhaps those who read my comments may have an answer.
I have added a short paragraph on the same theme toward the end of this page.
I now know some of the difficulties of growing old. When I began this page, I could comment on some of the problems that age can bring. I had turned by 91st birthday, and could view the situation form the standpoint of one able to manage most of the activities the days bring. In May my wife fractured her hip. After the operation and a time of rehabilitation, she is able to walk, but not without the assistance of a frame. The care of her is now one that demands more of my time and energy, but never my patience and concern for her. However, demands have become heavier with the passing of the months. I could walk and not faint, but not run without growing weary, and we had to face the need for residential care. We are now installed in the Templestowe Orchards Retirement, connected with the Baptist Church in Doncaster East.
I am having to reassess my attitudes to this style of life, and look again at what I said previously on this page. The village is ideal for those who are unable to care for themselves. Staff put time and effort into making life comfortable for the residents, and they care for Mona's personal needs in a way beyond my ability. Mona misses the familiar things and surroundings, and has found it very hard to accept that they are no longer part of her life. I say again what I quoted C. S. Lewis as saying, "If you do go into a Home, Christ will be there just as much as in any other place." I agree. There are qualifications I would add, from the situation of which Lewis speaks. I need exercise. The small unit we occupy has a balcony where my exercise bicycle stands. I miss the daily attention I gave to my garden. The six little planters on the balcony with their lobelias, remind me that what meant so much has gone for good. I realise now what the Bible says about gardens, and the words have a new significance. There was garden before Paradise was lost, and there will be one when Paradise is regained. And it was in garden tomb that they laid our Lord, and His first appearance after His rising from the dead was in a garden. I must learn a lesson which I guess those who move into the nineties must learn, and that is to sit still and watch the hidden beauties of the garden unfold.
ON GROWING OLD
Some of the more depressing aspects of pastoral work is the occasion when one has to visit an inmate of a geriatric ward, or home. One may sometimes see as many as 20 elderly people round a television screen. Many are too sleepy to have an interest, some gaze absently mindedly into space, one or two become curious at the entrance of a visitor. Conversation often reveals that many in such a situation seldom have a visitor. It may be that a relative will call at Christmas, or some anniversary, but these do little to relieve the apparent boredom one senses most of the patients endure.
The reverse is happily met with. Now well into the last decade of my life, I am privileged to take, from time to time, the weekly devotions at a nearby Baptist Retirement Village. I feel that it is a case of the old sharing Christian things with the not-so-old.. But the difference in this situation to the one I have above mentioned is striking. The atmosphere is bright and sunny. The veterans of many a church fellowship sing the old hymns with refreshing enthusiasm. There are activities which cater for every member of the village. The dining hall is spacious and bright – the tables decorated with fresh flowers. For the elderly who can afford it, such accommodation may be ideal - the more so, if the atmosphere is Christian. C. S. Lewis wrote in Letters to an American Lady," If ever you do have to go to a Home, Christ will be there just as much as in any other place" Such would bear testimony to Robert Browning's Rabbi Ben Ezra, when he said, "...grow old along with me, the best is yet to be...." But for some growing old is but passing time and waiting for death.
There are two sides to the problem of growing old, and one is alarming, and for the most part ignored. What can the Christian church do apart from providing homes for those able to provide the necessary finance? Much church activity is governed with youth in mind. This is necessary in these days when so many far from helpful hurdles await the adolescent. The young will provide future leaders of our churches. Yet in many cases the elderly are very much part of the church scene. Experience tends to suggest that they are often neglected. Is pastoral care extended to them at the level they need? It would be interesting to hear what some churches are doing to address the needs of the elderly.
Now well into the last decade of my life, I have the privilege of taking the weekly devotions from time to time in an adjacent Retirement Home. I feel that it is a case of the old speaking to the not-so-old. The experience is as refreshing and helpful to me as I hope it is to those who attend.
Some years ago, when In was in pastoral ministry in London, I became aware of the nature of the problem. One of the church members who had been a Bible School lecturer, the daughter of a judge and had lived in comfortable circumstances, eventually had to accept the care of a nursing home. She occupied a very small room, and had to part with most of her belongings. The pastor of the church in which she had been a very active member for half a century, never visited her. Visitation, is not his strong point, I was offered as an explanation. She died at the age of 100.
Kate Legge ,columnist for the Australian, came back to the problem of the aged when she reported the recent rejoicing in the home of Kevin Smith in Launceston. The occasion was the news that his father Ray, aged 87 had been given a place in a secure dementia facility. He had been languishing in Launceston General Hospital. He had been on the list of every nursing home in northern Tasmania. The same with his wife Sheila, who has Parkinson's disease and arthritis, and has been living with her daughter during the months Ray had been in hospital. She has put her mother in respite care for two weeks, but these places are as scarce as nursing home slots. The strain of that situation can be imagined. When the family had the news that Ray had secured place, they asked if Shelia could have priority. The place on offer was for a man.
Ray sums up his the situation. "My parents have gone from the twilight of their golden years to separation and uncertainty". The politics of fear and distress can be measured by the fact that John Howard is to announce a $1.6 billion package to address the nursing home crisis. "Grow old along with me..." - but the best is for some far from bright.
Electronic Home help
A group of researchers are finding ways of caring for elderly people. The devices to be used have RFID-tagged items (whatever they are) that track a person's daily movements using sensors embedded throughout the home. These will ensure that forgetful seniors take their medication on time, and help them stick to their prescribed diets. I can't wait to get embedded! An afternoon nap may have to suffice until that happy technological day
The Quest for eternal youth
It would appear that as a society we are determined to push back the boundaries of old age. Today the thing is to visit the gym far more regularly than we see the doctor. It is a splendid thing to do - but have we taken it too far? And what are the assumptions behind it? I was reading that the anti-ageing industry in North America is worth more than $US30 a billion. With one American turning 50 every seven seconds, and with Western culture mired in high anxiety makeover madness, for those in their 30s and 40s this figure will soon be blown out of the water. There is a flip side to all this: ought we not to question whether our quest for eternal youth is a fatal attraction. Are our attempts to turn the clock back a fool's errand? Are the benefits of wisdom, experience and maturity being devalued as we become so absorbed in the business of staying young? It is something I often think about. What do you think?
Being left for a little while in the local library I browsed round and came across a book "How to live to be 90" I skimmed through it to see if I had been doing the right things. I have never smoked and been intoxicated - I am not obese and do like salt. What it did do was to assure me that salt was no bad thing. Apart from that it made the point that as a nonagenarian I ought to have medical opinion about what may - as 25 year old - be dismissed as a little ache. But that has drawbacks - I have so many of the little things that I would beat a path to the local GP in next to no time!!